I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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