Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
