And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
