So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
