Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
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I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
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Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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