Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize