I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
