So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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