Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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