I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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