windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
