hotel room ftw
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
