I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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