We're facebook friends in real life
why didn't you poke me back
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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