I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This is my gift to your gina
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
