Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
