either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
