Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Who died my cat blue again?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
