i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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