Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
