the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
