Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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