I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize