He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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