the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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