so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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