Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
When did we convert life to cartoon?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
