Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
