you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
