He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think a kid would responsible me up
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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