i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
