youre lurking in front of me
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He keeps bees of course he's weird
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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