dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm bleeding and have questions
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
