Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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