I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy