Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
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I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
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I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Okay so I just had a really great idea