I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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