Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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