After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
