If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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