I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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