community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
