Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize