Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
