I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
