so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
