Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
