I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips