he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.