You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE