Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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