distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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