i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
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Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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