so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
