I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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