Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
