I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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