Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
