Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize