Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
be right there i have to get my cape
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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