I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
