apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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