whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
