She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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