I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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