I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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