how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize