And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize